It Takes Two To Tango

Cheers, dear readers,

It’s Cathy speaking here continuing my story of our infertility journey. All of your supportive and heartfelt comments are very inspiring and well received. I hope that what we write here continues to help some of you feel not alone if you are also struggling with trying to conceive a child.

So my story continues…

With a combination of acupuncture, yoga, meditation, research, total diet makeover, drinking “fertile” tea along with taking pre-natal vitamins – literally every single thing that I could think of – so far the outcome was clear…

Nothing. Was. Happening.

No positive pregnancy test. No end to my period. No little being growing in my belly.

And now it had been six months. All of the articles and books I had read said that after the age of 35, once six months had passed with no conception, it’s time to take it to the doc! Being the highly proactive one on this topic and the one with the empty uterus and the eggs, I opted to take the bull by the horns and make an appointment with my gynecologist (heavy sigh). Here we go. Now I have to admit out loud to another human being that there might be a problem with my lady parts. Ewwww. But OK. I’m a grown up. Let’s do this thing.

As I was driving to my friendly, neighborhood lady parts doctor, I was filled with lots of mixed emotions, including fear, dread, shame, trepidation and general dislike of the “cold duck lips” (my personal nickname for the speculum) I was about to experience. I chose my particular doctor for her brevity. She’s not exactly the warmest soul, but always cut right to the chase, which I appreciate. And she was quick and efficient. I don’t like to hang out at the gynecologists’ one moment longer than I have to. So I knew this appointment would at the very least be interesting. She did all of the normal routine stuff. And as I tried to distract myself from what she was doing “down there,” I casually mentioned that my husband and I were trying to conceive without success, and it had been six months, thus did everything look ok down there…? Then I held my breath. Then I realized I should not be holding my breath and I exhaled. In her matter of fact tone, she eventually said that everything seemed to be in order and looked completely normal, but she said, “It takes two to tango. I recommend that you and your husband go straight to the fertility clinic and get your husband tested. Tell them I sent you.”

Well! I wasn’t expecting that! I had assumed this was all my fault somehow being the female with the empty womb. Maybe it was HIM! Whoah! Well, this might be getting complicated. And worse, it might be getting expensive. I called Eric in the car to tell him the latest news about our Personal Path to Pregnancy. And he immediately got on the phone with our health insurance provider to see what was covered. And you know what was covered?

Absolutely. Nothing.

…well, except for the first very initial tests that they would run at the fertility clinic. Everything after that would be out of pocket. Well, that just stinks, doesn’t it? Not only is this embarrassing, depressing, demoralizing, completely not fun or joyous like it seems for so many others, but we were going to go broke too. Great! (sarcasm) Whatever! Charge ahead. What else were we going to do?

Our next step after we made the appointment at our local fertility clinic was to go over our finances and see where we stood. We still hoped for the best in terms of what the clinic was going to find after we were tested, and what would happen next. But you know the old saying: “Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.” So we tried to analyze how we could afford treatment if we needed it. We were both filled with a lot of anxiety and worry – which we realized made conceiving even more difficult – but that just made us be more anxious and worry more. It’s a vicious cycle… Help! Get me off of this crazy train! And we haven’t even gotten on yet.

Please join me next week to hear more about my personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. And I wish you the best on your journey.

Warm regards,


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