Cheers, dear readers,
We’ve all done it – woken up on the wrong side of the bed with toxic dis-empowering thoughts right out of the gate. We shoot ourselves in the foot before we’ve even gone for our first bathroom break.
For example, how often do you think these two thoughts first thing in the morning:
“I didn’t get enough sleep.”
“I don’t have enough time.”
I definitely have thought these thoughts throughout my infertility journey as well. Right when we’re trying to be relaxed, do “Breathe To Conceive” yoga to decompress, reduce our anxiety, what do we do? We do the exact opposite without even realizing it, worrying about how much sleep we didn’t get, and how we don’t have enough time. Where do we find the time for all of the doctor’s appointments, the exact moment for the injections to up our chances of success, the hours and hours of research we find ourselves doing to increase our fertility knowledge, and still find time for friends, family and our jobs to pay for it all?
Yet according to the information in this article, the above “scarcity-themed” thoughts hinder us way more than help us. Often before we our feet even touch the floor upon waking, “we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something… what begins as a simple expression of a hurried life, or even the challenged life, grows into the great justification for an unfulfilled life.”
Yikes! How often on the infertility journey are feeling hurried, lacking, unfairly challenged, or unfulfilled? How is this “scarcity-thinking” helping us? Well, it’s not:
“When our default mode is set to scarcity, we basically train ourselves to seek out proof that we need more of everything. We focus on what we wish was different, and in doing so, we subtly reject all that we already have.”
Not good… especially when we majorly need to focus on the positive and all that we DO have to help us relax into the infertility journey with our beloved spouse at our side.
The article goes on to say that this scarcity-thinking creates literally thousands of other thoughts focused on this “not enough”-ness way of being, resulting in us chronically believing our lives are just filed with problems. “Considering we average about 60,000 thoughts per day, that’s quite a barrage of negativity.” I’ll say! So when we focus on negativity, that’s what we manifest in our lives, more negativity and a sense of scarcity!
“When you hone in on something, you naturally notice it more at the cost of whatever else is in the landscape. Your brain is trained to do this; taking in all the stimulus around you would be too overwhelming and dangerous. Your brain needs to be able to focus and whether you realize it or not, it gets all its instructions about what to focus on from you. When your brain’s first instructions of the day are to think about how you didn’t get enough sleep and how you’re not going to have enough time to do all that you need to do, guess what you’re going to be noticing all day long (again, at the cost of whatever else in the landscape)?”
So how do we counteract this vicious, self-defeating cycle? By consciously re-directing our thoughts towards gratitude for all that we have.
I got enough sleep, and I have enough time.
And how about…
My spouse and I are all the family I need right now.
I have enough patience to handle this situation.
I can stand this moment.
I have enough team members to find a solution to this dilemma.
I have enough friends who support me.
I have enough love to make it through this.
And as if by magic, thoughts like the above can help create thousands upon thousands of other thoughts that focus on abundance (versus scarcity) helping you feel incredibly grateful for all that you have enough of. And who couldn’t use more of that, right?
According to the article:
“When you consistently come from a place of enough, you cultivate a steady sense of gratitude and you naturally give. You give your attention, patience, ideas, time and most importantly, you give your presence. It is emotionally intoxicating to be around someone who is present, who is not scurrying around in their mind for the next thing to do or think about…. This is why people who are genuinely grateful for what they have often get even more of it, not because they imagine desirable scenarios and those scenarios just magically manifest, but because they give naturally, so they get naturally.”
Some other questions that you can ask yourself to help keep you on the abundance love train during your journey:
What do I have to give today? (A friendly more gracious attitude at the clinic’s office, a book that you enjoyed that a friend may also love, a warm generous hug to your spouse?)
What can I be generous with today? (Your patience, your affection to loved ones, your continued effort on your journey, your full attention and empathy during a difficult conversation?)
“Enough is the bridge from scarcity to abundance. What do you have enough of?”
Please join me next week to hear more about my personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. I wish you the best on your journey.
This post is also available in: Arabic