Cheers, dear readers,
In my last post, I focused on the power of incantations which are affirmations on steroids that help bring more resolve and emotion into creating your intentions and your beliefs about what is possible in your life. We discussed how going through IVF treatment or seeking adoption definitely requires a lot of action and determined movement in a positive and definitive direction – which can be very challenging on some days as anyone reading this blog post knows all too well! Absolutely anything that we can do to support our efforts and keep us “waking up on the right side of the bed” is always much appreciated and helpful.
Well this week, I bring you the power of asking the right questions! So often on our journey through the infertility jungle, we can easily slip into the “woe is me” frame of mind and string of questions, such as “why is this happening to me?” “what did I do to deserve this” or “how in the world will I ever get through this?!” As soon as we think questions like this to ourselves or out loud with our spouse, it sucks the wind right out of us. We may want to then sit down and just take a nap (not that naps are a bad thing – sometimes they are very needed!), or we want to give up all together, or we feel we don’t have the energy to make good choices to help our fertility journey – such as eating right, performing yoga, or reaching out for support when we need it. This is all counter productive, as well as not fun in the slightest!
I have some fascinating news for you:
The only way to come up with new solutions to challenges we haven’t been able to overcome is to ask new questions.
You see when you ask new questions, better questions, smart questions, you change your experience, you change who you are, how you think, and ultimately what you do. Whatever you ask for, you’ll get an answer for eventually. Ask and you shall receive. Ask a lousy question and you’ll get a lousy answer. Ask a better question and you’ll get a better answer.
Questions are powerful because they change what we focus on and therefore how we FEEL (which affects what we think and then what we do).
Below is a list of unhelpful, lousy questions to stay away from and a list of better questions to ask instead that will empower, embolden, and inspire you. I invite you to take a gander, and try out asking yourself and your spouse more empowering questions along the course of your journey…
Unhelpful questions to stay away from…
– Why is this so hard to do?
– Why am I not seeing results yet?
– How long do I have to keep doing this?
– How did I end up in this position?
– Do I even deserve to be happy and feel good?
– Why can’t I make this work?
– Why does this always happen to me?
– Why do I have such a hard time staying motivated?
– Why do I always fall off track?
– Why does it seem like everyone else can do it but me?
Empowering questions to ask instead…
+ How can I get better and stronger?
+ What else can I be doing to accelerate my results?
+ What can I do to be better than I was yesterday?
+ How fortunate am I to get this opportunity?
+ What am I most grateful for?
+ What must I do to give my absolute best today?
+ How do I maximize my opportunities for improvement?
+ What am I absolutely fired up and excited about today?
+ How will this setback help me get better?
+ What am I most proud of myself for today or this week?
What do you think? I would love to hear your thoughts on trying out this exercise for your next upcoming cycle or fertility treatment as a way to motivate and inspire you to keep going. No matter where your path ultimately takes you, asking more empowering questions can help you at any stage of your life. I promise you that! Consider perhaps choosing three empowering questions to ask yourself every morning upon waking up, replacing your “bad habit” downer questions with better ones. Let us know what happens for you!
Special thanks to Mike Goncalves of The Wellness Bucket for the empowering questions and concepts shared here. Super powerful stuff!
Please join me next week to hear more about my personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. I wish you the best on your journey.