We talk about stress A LOT when it comes to fertility challenges. But that is because it is a real life problem. The issue with stress, is that if it goes unmanaged, it WILL wreak havoc in the body. It’s not IF, but rather WHEN. And not only when but also, HOW it shows up.
Struggling to get pregnant, getting yet another negative pregnancy test, wondering if you ovulated, connecting with your partner, getting your period… these are all a very real part of the stressors of waiting for baby. Unfortunately, some of this can’t really be helped. Sure you can improve upon how you allow these things to affect your day to day life. That is a very important part of stress relief too. Yet sometimes when you are in the thick of it, it feels unrealistic to think that you’re just not going to worry about it.
So, another important question to ask yourself that comes up is, “Where else can I minimalism the stress in my life?” It just so happens that I am a very ‘Type A’ personality. I like to have things organized. Things have their place. Events have their time. And if I am the one in control, then life seems to happen a whole lot smoother. So naturally people come to me to help with more stuff. I just keep adding one thing after another to my plate. Until I am running around like a crazy lady wondering how I can get it all done with only 24 hours in a day. Does any of this sound familiar? If you can relate, I am going to talk to you about your two new favorite words.
“No” can be such a magical word. If you get asked to do something, if it’s not a, “Yes, absolutely!”, then it is a, “NO!”. In a perfect world, your immediate response can be a request to think about it. Rather than feel like you are put on the spot, you can take a few minutes, an hour, a day… whatever you feel like you need to make a quality decision, and then get back to the requested task at hand with your answer. That may not always be an option. It has become my habit to either take the time to decide or to decline. I may get titled with ‘non-committal’ from time to time, and I am ok with that. The only person who is living my life, with my goals, with my struggles, and with my ‘to-do’s’, is ME. Practice saying “No” a few times. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first. But, I truly believe it will quickly become one of your favorite words. The beauty of it is, when your life gets to a place that feels good and manageable, you will feel really good about the things that your say “Yes” to.
This was a really tough one for me. I want you to really hear this… You are not the ONLY one who can do what you do. Crazy concept, right?! I challenge you to find 2-3 things that are on your list that you feel comfortable delegating to someone else. To help you decide what would be best, make a list of everything you take care of. One list should be of your daily ‘to-do’s’. One list will be of your weekly and/or monthly commitments. And one list will be of your random obligations. Now prioritize your lists. What absolutely has to be done by you? What are the things that you hate to do? What are the things that you could put off if you must? Whatever the tasks are that you hate to do and/or can put off, that is a great place to start. Who else can do these jobs? Maybe that means you hire a house cleaner, or you share the weight of the world with your partner. Whatever it is you choose to delegate, you must do so with complete clarity and release of control. If you are micro managing the task, you might as well still be doing it yourself. Allow yourself to trust that someone else can truly handle this. Now take a deep breath. Enjoy the feeling of that one small weight lifted from your shoulders.
One last thing… make sure to prioritize in your life some ‘you time’. Self care is important. If you are running on fumes than you can’t give the best of yourself to the things that you need to do and love to do. My daily go to’s are meditation and journaling. My weekly self care priority is a yoga class. My monthly ‘going-to-make-it-happen’ is a massage. These are just some examples of ways that you can take care of that beautiful-fun-loving-peaceful-joyful human that resides within the powerhouse-gettin’-it-done-take-no-prisoners woman!
This post is also available in: Arabic